Kangas Quotes (October)

Naomi: “Bath time is my favorite time of year.”

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Naomi: “Is Jerry here?”
Dana: “No.”
Naomi: “Oh, that’s good. Because I want to take off my pants and get nakie.”

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Naomi: “Can I have bubbles in my bath?”
Dana: “Sure.”
Naomi: “If you don’t do it, I’ll have to show my fanny in your general direction.”

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Naomi: Have fun cleaning poop!!!” (What she said to us when we were tucking her in at night when the sewer overflowed in our basement.

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Naomi: “My vagina smells horrible. I need to take a bath.”

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Naomi: “This ‘Air Head’ is making my cheek vibrate.”

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Naomi: “Never ever dever.” (She says this a lot.)

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Naomi: “Let’s go play gollyball.”

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Naomi: “I don’t like being poisoned. That’s why I’m trying to stay alive.”

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Naomi: “Daddy, I have a splendid idea.”

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Naomi: “My grilled cheese sandwich looks like a human. Like one bending over with their fanny up.”

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Dana: “Everyone needs spankins. It’s what make the world go round.”
Naomi: “Mom, Jesus didn’t make you to be a super spanker. He created you for love.”

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Naomi: “You pretend to be the mom and I’ll pretend to be the kid.”
Dana: “Okay, I can do this.”

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Jerry: “If you could be one age for the rest of your life, what age would that be?”
Naomi: “A grown-up.”

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Naomi: “Can we go to The Rocket Bakery and get a cinnamon roll?”
Dana: “No. I can’t eat it and I don’t want you to eat one all by yourself today.”
Naomi: “I need to go on a gluten date with dad. On that involves a giant cinnamon roll.”

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(A note to Aaron…from Naomi…while he was in Seattle on a business trip.) “Dear Dad, I love you. You’re such a great dad. I want the iPod. I love you. Love, Naomi.”

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Naomi has spanish class at school. The spanish teacher taught her the word “la cabesa” (head) a few weeks ago. She likes to repeat it over and over in a growly voice. Last week, Naomi’s school called to say she hit her head on the cement during recess and that I needed to come see it right away. When I arrived, I asked Naomi to tell me where it hurt. She looked at me and said (in her best growly voice), “LA CABESA.” I told the teacher she was fine and could go back to school. Of course, Naomi protested and said she wanted to go home. I told her she would have to stay in bed and rest all day. (She thought she could just play on the computer and watch TV.) She asked if she could go back to school instead…because her “la cabesa” was feeling better all of a sudden.

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Naomi is always coming up with games and rules. This one is my current favorite:
“Mom, you are a dog and I’m allergic to dogs. You have to try and touch me, and then I will sneeze. Got it? Let’s play!!!”

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I was grocery shopping in Walmart. Naturally, I wanted to get in and out of there as quickly as possible. Naomi was not excited about this particular shopping trip, so she was sulking in the big part of the cart. She started messing with the items in the cart. Somehow, a bottle of dish soap was knocked upside down and started to slowly spill on the floor. To my horror, we had a steady stream of soap following us down four aisles. When I went to the check-out, the lady noticed that most of the bottle was empty and asked if she could get a replacement. Naomi piped up and said, “I used the missing half to clean this place up.”

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