Giving More

— Dana

There are weeks when I feel like I’m at the end of my rope. Those weeks when I can’t seem to find an ounce of energy to give anymore. That is when I decide to go on vacation to recharge. Only to find myself cleaning up puke as the flu descends on our family the moment we walk out the door.

Somehow, I found the energy to give a little more.

I return home and settle into my routine after being gone for so long. Only to find that my calendar is over scheduled with commitments that didn’t seem like a big deal a month ago. My husband misses me. My daughter is losing it every second. The dishes are piling up. My many bosses seem disappointed because I can’t be available 24/7 for their questions or inquiries. I choose to get only 4 hours of sleep each night so I can keep everyone happy. This is the life of a pleaser. It’s obvious I have a hard time saying no.

Somehow, I found the energy to give a little more.

Eventually, the late nights and early mornings begin to take their toll. I can feel my body aching for the slower pace of life that I had grown accustom to a few months ago. How can I slow this train? I look forward to a three day weekend with my family. However, I can tell something is wrong within my body.

Somehow, I found the energy to give a little more.

Over the weekend, I pause long enough to listen to my body. The doctor makes a space in her busy schedule to see me on a Tuesday morning. Friends help with child care. I have multiple infections that take multiple medications that will take multiple days to get rid of. I am in agony, and I find little comfort in bed with a hot pad. My husband misses me. My daughter is losing it every few minutes.

Somehow, I found the energy to give a little more.

All I want to do is take a warm shower to ease the discomfort in my back from the kidney infection. Early in the morning, I found that the water was too hot to touch. I stood up and realized that I would not be finding rest in the shower. Not today. Much to my horror, the water heater has failed me. It’s apparent that my frugality has pushed this appliance too far for too long. I know how it feels. We spent three tear-filled hours cleaning up treasures that were damaged by the water in our basement. I was thankful that we owned a shop vac and some fans. This was not what I wanted to do today.

Somehow, I found the energy to give a little more.

I was late taking my daughter to school. Then, I almost missed her party because I was a mess after cleaning the basement. During nap time, I misplaced the iPod in the house. We spent a few hours searching for this tiny electronic device that we’ve relied on the last few months. It’s still lost. First world problems. We attend a meeting at church. I stay late to help with dishes after the meeting, and the whole time I’m thinking of the dishes that are waiting for me at home. Without hot water to wash them. I sit down to write for a while. I find that writing calms my mind when I can’t sleep. And the cat jumps on my lap with poop all over her butt and smears it all over my arm.

Somehow, I found the energy to give a little more.

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One thought on “Giving More

  1. Dearest Dana,

    Praying that you can find some rest and healing from all this chaos!!

    “Seek the Lord and His strength, seek his face continually. Remember His marvellous works that he hath done, his wonders, and the judgements of his mouth.”

    1 Chronicles 16:11-12

    Date: Thu, 30 May 2013 06:04:47 +0000 To: courtneymcgarry@msn.com

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