Kangas Quotes (June)

— Dana

Our neighbor across the street likes to wear a kilt at least once a week (and he has a giant beard, so it’s obvious that he’s a dude wearing a skirt). He was outside in his front yard the other day when we were leaving to go run errands. Naomi turned to me with a wrinkled up face and said, “Hmmm…he’s a different kind of man, huh?”

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Every time someone askes Naomi “How are you doing?”…she always replies with a smile and says, “I’m doing great.”

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Naomi: “Don’t tuck my hair behind my ears. It makes me look like a boy.”

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Naomi: “Don’t worry, mom…flamingos can come eat your allergies.”
Dana: “Do you mean algae?”
Naomi: “Yah. That too!!! They can eat your allergies AND your algaes.”

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Naomi: “I just got daddy back. I got him back with my imagination.”

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Dana: “Please stop poking my butt.”
Naomi: “But mom!!! I’m making cool waves.”

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For the last year, whenever someone calls Naomi a nickname, she will promptly look at them and say, “Excuse me, my name is not ______. It’s Naomi.” Apparently, she doesn’t like nicknames. It’s a good thing we gave her a name that can’t be shortened.

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Aaron: “Quick, Naomi. I can hear the frogs in the pond.”
Naomi: “I can hear them!!! They are talking to me.”
Aaron: “What are they saying?”
Naomi: (In a frog-like croaking whisper) “I love you.”

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Dana: “It’s my job to teach you how to be a grown-up, but first you need to learn how to be a little lady.”
Naomi: “Can I be a little woman, too?”

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Naomi: “Why do you have so many cracks?”
Aaron: “What cracks are you referring to?”
Naomi: “The ones on your forehead.”
Aaron: “Most people like to call those wrinkles.”
Naomi: “I like to call them cracks.”

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Dana: “Don’t put that moth on my blanket. Did you know they eat blankets?”
Aaron: “And clothes.”
Naomi: “And CLOCKS!!!”

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Naomi: “I’m so proud of you, Pumpkin. You’re getting so big. Your tail is so big. And even your vagina.”

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Naomi: “I want to go to the moon.”
Dana: “What do you need to go to the moon?”
Naomi: “I need a space ship and a moon suit.”
Dana: “What will you do when you get to the moon?”
Naomi: “Go camping.”
Dana: “Oh, really?”
Naomi: “Yah…and eat marshmallows and run from all the moon bears.”

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Naomi: “Mom!!! Pumpkin just punched me.”
Aaron: “Did you just tattle on a cat that doesn’t have fists.”
Dana: “She really needs a sibling.”

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Naomi: “Who smells like a special treat? Is it you? (Pointing at me.) Is it you? (Pointing at Aaron.) It’s me. (Pointing at herself.) And I smell like caffeine.

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Naomi: “Where is mommy? And what is she doing?
Aaron: “She is probably being awesome somewhere.”

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Naomi: “Mommy!!! Where is my measuring tape?”
Dana: “I don’t know. Why do you ask?”
Naomi: “I want to measure Spokane.”
Dana: “I’m not sure your measuring tape is long enough.”
Naomi: “I do have a really long one. It should work, mom.”

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Naomi: “I can’t go to sleep. The birds will come and take my bowl of flowers and make a nest.”
Dana: “I will make sure the birds don’t take your flowers while you’re sleeping. Now, go to bed.”
Naomi: “Well, only blue birds will steal my flowers and make a nest. Not the orange birds. Is there blue birds in Spokane, Washington?”
Dana: “I think so.”
Naomi: “Then, I really can’t sleep. I need to protect my flowers!!!”

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Naomi: “P is for poop.”
Aaron: “Yes. I guess that’s right.”
Naomi: “No…look, daddy. Figaro just pooped the letter p. He knows how to spell.”

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