So, this is my new favorite kind of joke: the anti-joke. It’s set up to be all funny, and then it’s not, so then that’s funny. Or at least it is to me. Some examples:
  • A dog walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender goes to get him a drink, but then realizes how ridiculous this is and wakes up from his dream. He rolls over to tell his wife about it, but she ignores him. He begins to cry silently, realizing his marriage is in shambles.
  • Q: What’s worse than a worm in your apple? A: Hurricane Katrina
  • An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.
  • Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? A: Robin, get in the car.
  • Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: It wasn’t. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.
  • Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint.
  • A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park.
  • A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.
  • Your mom is so fat that when she steps on the scale, it displays a very large number.
  • Your momma’s so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.