I was reflecting on the fact that three years ago this morning, I was in a really low place emotionally and spiritually. We had been asking God for a child without an answer…or at least not a desirable one. Whether or not God was even listening to my prayers at that point seemed to be the recurring doubt. That morning, three years ago, I was beginning to believe that God was just subjecting us to a life of continual pain…a deep, constant, take-your-breath-away pain. And (in all reality) that had been our experience for many years into our marriage. Through sickness and very little health…with literal deaths and very little life…our family of two was crying out to God to bring hope and joy to our very heavy hearts. What I didn’t know about that particular morning, three years ago, is that I was only six months away from having my child’s heart beating inside me.
Looking back, six months really isn’t that long…but in the middle of any situation it seems like an eternity. From November 2007 until May 2008 I would cry out to God to “fill our quiver”. It was on my mind day and night. Eventually, I realized that getting pregnant had become an idol in my heart and the Lord did some surgery to remove any desires that were bigger than my desire to worship Him.
Finally, in May of 2008, I was super emotional and I honestly don’t know what compelled me to go buy a pregnancy test. I knew in my heart I wasn’t pregnant. Honestly, I was getting tired of that disappointed feeling in my gut month after month. Perhaps, after a few years, it just became some sort of a habit? You know…one of those “must pee on a stick every time I see a toilet” kind of habits. Anyway, I went to the Dollar Tree and got a pregnancy test (because after a while they start to get expensive…and why spend $20 on something that is just going to prove the fact that God is not answering my prayers).
Looking back, words fail me when I describe the whirlwind of emotions that accompanied the two pink lines. However, in all my disbelief and shock after peeing on that stick, the Lord said to me “I heard your prayers”.
As I type this, three years later, tears still well up in my eyes as I reflect on the Lord’s faithfulness. Despite the fact that I have been through more trials than I want to remember, I still believe that God is good, that His Word is true and that HE IS FAITHFUL. Can I get an AMEN?
Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.” (Lamentations 3:22-24)
So, why the main reason for this blog post? Well…there’s two…
1. God gave us a child. We want to remember that and celebrate the fact that God displayed His power and grace in our lives through our daughter, Naomi. In many ways, the last three years signifies a shift that took place in our faith…a deepening of trust that has remained to this day. We hope you will praise the Lord with us for answering our prayers (because sometime I forget that when I’m frustrated with my naughty toddler).
2. We want more children. We don’t know what the Lord has planned for our family, but our deep desire is for three more children. Now that we’re only weeks away from being debt free, we would love more children…soon!!! There…I said it. We are trying to get pregnant again…
Naomi is here on this earth not because we just prayed, but because we had a small army praying with us. And when God answered those prayers, the rejoicing was much greater because so many had interceded on our behalf. It was a beautiful thing to share with the body of Christ!!!
So, here we are…three years later and we are again asking God for MORE mercy and MORE power to overcome any medical obstacles and bless us with MORE children. I feel really selfish as I type this, but God tells us to come boldly to His throne with our requests. We are both aware of how deep our need for grace and prayer runs if God is to add to the number in our little family. And while blogging it out is not the most comfortable platform to ask for such things, it is definitely the easiest way to make our need for prayer known. So, we humbly ask, would you please pray for us for another child?
In Jesus’ Name. Amen.