I’m just going to say it…

I failed.

Yes, in the eyes of my peers and other adults, I have failed the Lenten season. This is, perhaps, why I rarely announce what I am going to pursue or give up during Lent. As many people know, I decided to give up “the internet” during Lent…because it had become a great distraction in my relationship with the Lord and with my family. When I was tired, sick, hungry, lonely, angry, bored…I would run to the internet to ease my anxiety. So, I could see how my occasional appearance on Facebook and other websites has proven the fact that I have failed Lent. However, the initial purpose is being lived out…the Lord is really helping me process my emotions in a healthier way (which was really the whole point of giving up the internet).

A few days after the Lenten Season started, I read Proverbs 16:9…”We make our own plans, but the LORD decides where we will go.” I didn’t realize it until now, but this has really been a huge theme in my life the last month. I tend to sit here on this earth and dictate the areas in which I want to grow and change (emphasis on the little lonely letter “I”). However, in His infinite wisdom and foreknowledge of the future, the Lord tends to gently show me the way in which I need to go for the best results of a changed character.

So, even though (to some) it may appear that I am a big, fat looser and I can’t keep my word…the Lord knows that I am moving in the right direction. He wants me to come to Him first when I am feeling overwhelmed. The Lord wants me to sit at His feet and pour out my heart. The God of the Universe wants me to draw nearer to Him in the midst of my emotions…and to acknowledge them and move on instead of ignoring what I’m truly feeling. In Mathew 6, Jesus tells His apostles to “seek FIRST His kingdom”. He didn’t say “when you’re feeling frustrated, log-in to Facebook and update your status”. I am not saying that Facebook (or the internet in general) is evil. What I’m saying is that over time I have learned to rely on it…put my trust it in…allowed my heart to seek it first instead of running to my God.

So, even though my initial plan was to totally fast from the internet and focus my time and energy on the Lord and my family, He cut through all the crap and got right to the heart of the matter. He just wants me to seek Him and use the internet in a healthy, balanced way. When I look at it that way…

I am not failing. I am moving right along the path the Lord intended all along…

However, I totally need to submit to the process of Lent and actually put in some effort to the whole process of fasting…which is why I am extremely thankful for grace and “do overs” in life. Because the only difference between the word “try” and “triumph” is a little extra “umph”. So, here goes another week of “umph”…and seeking Him first in the midst of it.


2 thoughts on “Umph.

  1. You are not a big fat loser, I like you, a lot – and I’m pretty darn cool so if I like you, you must be pretty awesome.

  2. Updated about a month ago · Comment · Like · View Original Post
    Danise Lynn Rivers and Jennifer Zimmer like this.

    Bridget Meredith I like to believe that people care… that’s why I post on facebook all day…but the real question is how many people hide my feed….hahahah 🙂
    Also, I think being “that” mom isn’t all that bad. It means you really love your daughter and are fascinated by all she does each day 🙂
    March 10 at 5:06am ·

    Stephanie Howard I like it… but, then again, I am ‘that’ mom, too!
    March 10 at 5:36am ·

    Tiffany Thompson Fisher I think we have all come to an age where we have spouses and have kids. Your posts about naomi are humorous and fun. Never in a million years will you be boring. I promise you that. We may not be as spry as we use to be but boring? Blasphemy! Hehe.

    Btw did you get the check for the tent?
    March 10 at 6:42am ·

    Gracie Klontz Maybe.

    March 10 at 8:06am ·

    Dana Kangas I love you ladies!!!
    March 10 at 12:09pm ·

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