Business Ideas

I think I should sell bad business ideas and strategies. Why would people buy them you ask? So that they have the comfort and security to know that the aren’t using that bad idea, and if they are, they know they should change. So, without further ado, I’m going to give them away right here: (how’s that for a good business idea?)

  1. Find a store called “Discount X” (Fill in the “X” with whatever you like: Tires, Tobacco, Clothing, etc.) Buy/rent/lease the shop right next to them, and sell the very same thing they do. Try to have the exact same product line, and if you can, mimic their layout. Try to hire staff that physically resembles their staff, and coordinate staff schedules, so that the look-alikes in your company are working the same time as their counterparts at the other store. Do everything you can to make your business just like theirs. Except you call your store “Full-Price X”. Genius.
  2. A somewhat recent trend is for multiple fast food restaurants to combine in one place. In Spokane here, we have a KFC/Long John Silvers near my house, and I’ve seen numerous other combinations. But here’s the twist I’m giving you: combine fast food with other fast services. Like a place where you can buy hamburgers AND you can make copies. Or subs and dry-cleaning. Or drive-through hot dogs and pharmacy. Or burritos and oil changes. Donuts and haircuts.
  3. Start a green engineering firm. And by “green”, I don’t mean that you find ways to make the bridges and buildings you engineer more environmentally friendly. Or that you engineer solar power plants. Nor do I mean that you design robots that clean pollution out of the environment. I mean you engineer those bridges/buildings/robots/factories so that they are the color green. Whether you have to make them out of green concrete, or green-tinted steel, or you slap some green paint on there when it’s done, it doesn’t matter. Just make it that color between blue and yellow, people.
  4. Start small arms manufacturing business. There is quite a market for small arms, world wide, especially in developing countries. Get a design team, and a factory, and start making small arms. Very small arms. Like arms that fit on dolls, or on Lego-guys. You can make the arms with hands or without, with or without shoulders, too. Plastic, wood, or metal arms. Make sure you make them in left/right pairs though.
  5. This one is more of a pricing strategy: Free. Give away your product. Now, I know what you’re thinking: some people do that and it actually works for them, like Google. They give away Web Search. They spend a huge amount of their money on Web Search. But they make profit selling ads that go along with Web Search. This works for other folks, too: you give away the “main” product, and sell something that goes along with it. So here’s the twist: you give away your “main” product, and then let someone else sell something that goes along with it. You do all the work, and they get all the money. Brilliant!

Well, I hope these have discouraged you from taking any business ideas from me, for the rest of your life.

-aaron

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