Right Now

The clothes you chose to wear may or may not have a “spiritual” aspect to it, but I personally feel like the Lord has been impressing upon my heart to think about where I’m at right now in my life. That “now” thinking includes even the clothes that I am wearing today.

For quite some time, I’ve been thinking about “past Dana” and “future Dana”; living in a constant state of regret from the past or high expectations for the future. How did I allow this thinking in my life? Un-Godly thinking that bogs me down…like being stuck in quick sand…instead of fills me with life? I have finally heard and responded to God’s challenge to get rid of things that so easily entangle me and draw me away from fellowship with Him.

Going back to my clothes, I started to take notice of two strange habits. First, I would keep “skinny clothes” that use to fit…hoping I would someday fit in them again. Being the weird-o that I am, I would also tell myself that in the near future I will be having three more children (by God’s grace), so I shouldn’t worry about wasting my money with the purchase of clothes that would actually fit today because they might not fit tomorrow.

However, both thoughts of being skinnier and possibly gaining weight effected my relationship with my spouse and other people that I came in contact with during the day. I was slowly becoming insecure…especially when I would wear “frumpy clothes” outside the house.

Hence, “Operation Anti-Frump”.

Yesterday, I bagged up all my “skinny clothes”; I also boxed up all my “fat clothes” (except my maternity outfits…I need to wear those items a few more times). Both things were hindering me to live today to the fullest. I can’t begin to explain how freeing this was. I have clothes that fit me today. Right now. Just as I am.

Slowly, I am embracing the fact (again) that Jesus loves me for who I am today. That doesn’t mean I will forever stay where I’m at now…Lord help me…but I think it is important to see the truth that I am loved by God and yet have areas that desperately need change. How often have I heard this? How often have I reminded people of this truth? Why have I been believing Satan’s lies that this does not apply to me?

So, I will be making many changes this year that hinder my relationship with the Lord and with other people. Graceful adjustments…it will be hard…and yet amazingly freeing.