Dirty Deal

Our poor daughter has been dealing with her first diaper rash this week. I (Dana) read about this issue online and tried to find some tips on how to help heal it quicker. One website recommended that I air dry her bum for 15 minutes and then apply some sort of paste to the affected area…before putting on a dry diaper.

I thought “hey, that sounds easy…and fun.” (You know naked babies are cute…)

So, this evening before bed, I took off Naomi’s clothes and stripped her down to her birthday suit and let her run around in her bedroom (the warmest room in our house). After 5 minutes of unprotected play time, Aaron and I agreed that if she peed on the floor it would be the same as if a puppy had an accident…and it really wouldn’t be that big of a deal.

Sure enough…as soon as we ended that conversation, Naomi peed on the floor. And, like we thought, it was much like a puppy piddling on the carpet. No worries…we can clean that one up in no time…just like we thought.

Before Aaron stood up to get carpet cleaner and rag, we started talking about poop. “Well, I suppose if she pooped on the floor it really wouldn’t be that bad either, right…” I inquired. Aaron assumed that it would just squirt out the back since she was sitting on the floor at that particular moment…so we would obviously see it if it happened.

I’m am not joking. That girl pooped right on the floor as soon as I asked my question. And let me clarify…IT IS WORSE THAN I IMAGINED!!!

Aaron’s hypothesis was wrong. When she pooped, it went forward and spread all over her legs. The best part is…we didn’t see the poop until she started to crawl away. I have to say, I was not the most composed person in the room at that point. I didn’t know if I should laugh hysterically or cry my eyes out. We ended up hosing her down in the shower and then we enjoyed a mommy-daughter bath to calm our nerves and start winding down for bed…

I’m convinced that that little girl must have understood what we were talking about. She did BOTH #1 and #2 on command…I should probably start potty training with that kind of accuracy!!! After this little incident, I doubt we will ever have play time in the buff…well…at least until she’s potty trained, I suppose.