Weeping

I am pretty sure I don’t want to be an adult anymore. There are too many tough decisions to make. Some choices are as simple as “what should we make for dinner”…and yet other choices seem to crush my body like a tiny ant in the hands of a child.

People have been making decisions from the beginning of time. Adam picked names for all the animals. Eve decided to make a choice based on what Satan said. Noah listened to God and decided to build an ark in the middle of the desert. Jonah disobeyed God’s call to preach to a nation that he despised. Jesus willingly went to the cross and He chose to listen to God. These are just a handful of people in the Bible. What about every single human being that has ever lived?

Freewill has been given…freely. Choices have to be made…daily. I have tried to go about my day not making a single choice…but that in and of itself is a choice. I am choosing not to choose. Damn it.

So, since I have to make decisions throughout my day, I feel like I have to make the “right” choice all the time. The problem is that I feel like (in the moment) that I am making the right choice. However, a few days go by and it reveals that the choices that I made were in fact the wrong choice. Where does that leave me? Where is the grace in my life…from me to me?

The Bible (which I believe in theory to be true…but I obviously don’t listen to all the time and put it into practice) tells me that no one is perfect and that we have all tried to do our own thing and go our own way (Romans 3:23 and Isaiah 53:6). Why, oh why, do I think that I am an exception to this rule? Why do I think that I can do everything right all the time and make all the right choices 100% of the time? Who am I kidding?

I don’t want to be an adult anymore.

Advice comes at me from every angle. I go to the doctor, he tells me one thing. I visit a friend, they tell me another. I read something in a book and then it totally throws everything I know out the window. Advice. Tips. Comparison. Feelings. Emotions. Choices.

In the end, I have to figure out what is best for me and my situation, but it is really hard. Maybe I can just go back to being a big baby.

When I think about it, I am a big baby when it comes to making choices now. This has not been the story of my life until recently. I have become a big weeping baby in the body of an adult. Someone save me!!! At times, I will cry about making a choice. Perhaps, the next time you see me, I will throw in a little stomping into the mix for effect. If you’re one of the lucky few, maybe you’ll catch me in a full temper tantrum. Most of the time, however, this all happens in the depths of my mind. I roll around every scenario and contemplate all the possible results of each action that I could make. I…by nature…am an over-analyzer. I bet you couldn’t tell. I suppose if I truly wanted to become a child again, I need to let the over-analyzing go. Children don’t think past what is right in front of them…at least most of the time. Jesus told his disciples that “unless you accept God’s Kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you’ll never get in”. (Luke 18:15-17)

Did you catch that? Simplicity. Not over-analyzing. Not making things more complicated than it is. Not throwing a temper tantrum. Not acting “childish”.

I wish I could live in the peace and simplicity of a child. When I watch my daughter play with her toys, you can see the joy of being right there in the moment. Not worrying about who she will vote for or when she will find time to go grocery shopping. Her everyday needs are met…by me.

I need a me to meet my needs. Actually, when I think about it, I need a Jesus to meet my needs.

When I get right down to the heart of it, I wish I was better at laying things at Jesus’ feet. Surrendering everything to Him. The last five years has been filled with weeping and over-analyzing…sprinkled with a touch of fear and cynicism. This has lead to my inability to make choices. Simple. Difficult. Inconsequential. You name it, I can’t seem to decide.

Which is why I don’t really want to be an adult anymore. It means I have to change. And change is hard.

Right Now

The clothes you chose to wear may or may not have a “spiritual” aspect to it, but I personally feel like the Lord has been impressing upon my heart to think about where I’m at right now in my life. That “now” thinking includes even the clothes that I am wearing today.

For quite some time, I’ve been thinking about “past Dana” and “future Dana”; living in a constant state of regret from the past or high expectations for the future. How did I allow this thinking in my life? Un-Godly thinking that bogs me down…like being stuck in quick sand…instead of fills me with life? I have finally heard and responded to God’s challenge to get rid of things that so easily entangle me and draw me away from fellowship with Him.

Going back to my clothes, I started to take notice of two strange habits. First, I would keep “skinny clothes” that use to fit…hoping I would someday fit in them again. Being the weird-o that I am, I would also tell myself that in the near future I will be having three more children (by God’s grace), so I shouldn’t worry about wasting my money with the purchase of clothes that would actually fit today because they might not fit tomorrow.

However, both thoughts of being skinnier and possibly gaining weight effected my relationship with my spouse and other people that I came in contact with during the day. I was slowly becoming insecure…especially when I would wear “frumpy clothes” outside the house.

Hence, “Operation Anti-Frump”.

Yesterday, I bagged up all my “skinny clothes”; I also boxed up all my “fat clothes” (except my maternity outfits…I need to wear those items a few more times). Both things were hindering me to live today to the fullest. I can’t begin to explain how freeing this was. I have clothes that fit me today. Right now. Just as I am.

Slowly, I am embracing the fact (again) that Jesus loves me for who I am today. That doesn’t mean I will forever stay where I’m at now…Lord help me…but I think it is important to see the truth that I am loved by God and yet have areas that desperately need change. How often have I heard this? How often have I reminded people of this truth? Why have I been believing Satan’s lies that this does not apply to me?

So, I will be making many changes this year that hinder my relationship with the Lord and with other people. Graceful adjustments…it will be hard…and yet amazingly freeing.

Fasting From The Internet

Many people look at Lent as an old law, one of which we are free. I grew up as a Non-Denominational Christian and we never celebrated this old tradition. A friend of mine explained to me that one of the reasons people fasted from food during Lent was because of the time they would spend in preparation for their meals. By sacrificing their option for food, they were able to devote more time to God and to each other.

It takes me five minutes to make a sandwich, or I can drive and get something from Wendy’s in ten minutes…round trip. I’ve fasted from food before. It’s a big deal…but not what I need to fast from now.

So, where do I spend my time? What distracts me from my communion with God?

The Internets.

—–

On January 25, I felt this strong prompting from the Lord to fast from the internet during Lent. I felt like I was developing this unhealthy balance in my life because of the unique tool. The Lord is calling me to something greater…something more…in my life.

After speaking with my husband, some close friends, and ultimately (what I had sensed in my heart from the beginning) I have decided to not blog or update my Facebook during the Lenten season.

This will be my last post until April 3.

—–

There are a couple things I want to leave you with:

WHY I’M DOING THIS

1) During this technology fast, I am going to be preparing my heart and mind for where He wants me to serve in our church. We are making some much needed changes in March, and I don’t want any distractions to interfere with how God is going to move within our church and how I am going to respond to the high calling of service.

2) Also during this technology fast, I am going to be praying and focusing on me. Over the years, I have lost sight of who I am as a Child of God and have become very insecure. I am anticipating some much needed change in my heart, and I’m looking forward to finally becoming the person that the Lord sees (instead of what other people want or what I want).

3) Not as a part of Lent, but during this season of fasting, I am participating in the Forty Days of Water campaign by Blood:Water Mission. From February 17 to April 3, all I will drink is water. I encourage you to explore and pray about it as well. The premise is what you would have spent on other drinks during these forty days, you will spend on providing clean water in Africa for people who don’t have the option.

WHAT YOU CAN DO

1) I am going to be downright bold here and make a big ask. There is so much technology noise in the world right now. What if we shut off our part of it…just for this season? I am going to ask you to fast from blogging, Twitter, Facebook…whatever consumes your time the most. Is this something you need to do? There is something stirring within the blog world. Several high traffic blogs are taking breaks or have shut down completely. I don’t think this is the answer for everyone, but I would ask that you seriously consider taking a break to see what God can do offline while we take a break online.

2) Pray for me. Pray for me as I focus on those things listed above. It is going to be weird being unplugged. Sometimes when we’re not plugged in online, unfortunately, we miss offline experiences as well. I am not going to feel as connected to those around me and that adjustment, although I believe is completely necessary for me, will be difficult!!!

3) If you know anything about me, you would already know that I love connecting with people. I don’t have all the time in the world to devote to this passion, but I would love to hang out and have some “face time” with you. So, let’s hang out!!!

—–

IF YOU HAPPEN TO STUMBLE ON THIS BLOG DURING THE BREAK

I’d like to say hi. This blog won’t be active again until after Easter and when it does return, might have a different focus. Who knows? At the same time, there are years of thoughts and blog posts tucked away that you can read until your heart’s content. When the Lenten Season is over, I may delete my blog, Facebook, and other internet distractions…we shall see how I feel after my fast has run it’s course. Maybe I will find more discipline to unplug more often.

—–

WHERE YOU WILL FIND ME

I still have to check my email for work. Sometimes it takes me a while to respond…especially during this time of fasting, I won’t be super plugged in. But that door is always open!!!

—–

See you after Easter.

And Love God. Love Others.

—–

Straight Talk About Debt

It’s the beginning of 2010 and if you’re like a lot of people, getting a tighter reign on your finances is one of those big New Year’s Resolutions. And it’s a good resolution to make. In the face of hard economic times, it’s absolutely critical to be a good steward of your resources. It all starts with getting out of debt, and getting in to a savings plan.

Myth: Debt is a tool

When training for my first career in real estate, I remember being told that debt is a tool. We can buy a home, a car, start a business or go out to eat and not be bothered with having to wait. But I also remember a finance professor telling us that debt is a double-edged sword, which could cut for you like a tool but could also cut into you and bring harm. My contention is that debt brings on enough risk to offset any advantage that could be gained through leverage of debt. Given time, risk will destroy the perceived returns by the myth-sayers.

Proverbs 22:7 says, “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.” I was confronted with this Scripture and had to make a conscious decision of who was right—my broke finance professor, who taught that debt is a tool, or God, who showed obvious disdain for debt. Beverly Sills had it right when she said, “There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.”

Our Culture

Debt is now so ingrained into our culture that most Americans can’t even envision a car without a payment, a house without a mortgage, a student without a loan and credit without a card. We have been sold debt with such repetition and with such fervor that most folks cannot conceive what it would be like to have no payments. Last year, 6 billion credit card offers were put in our mailboxes and people are taking advantage of those offers. According to CardTrak, Americans currently have $807 billion in credit card debt. We can’t do without debt—or can we?

Credit Cards

Bankers, car dealers and unknowledgeable mortgage lenders have told America for years to “build your credit.” This myth means we have to get debt so we can get more debt because debt is how we get stuff. Those of you who don’t use debt have found that cash buys stuff better than debt. But if I were selling debt, as the banker is, I also would tell you to get debt to get more debt.

I’ve heard all the bait put out there to lure the unsuspecting into the pit. A free hat, airline miles, brownie points back, free use of someone else’s money, a discount at the register—the list goes on to get you to sign up for a credit card. Have you ever asked why they work so hard to get you involved? The answer is that you lose and they win. An American Bankruptcy Institute study of bankruptcy filers reveals that 69 percent of filers say credit card debt caused the bankruptcy.

Car Payments

Taking on a car payment is one of the dumbest things people do to destroy their chances of building wealth. The car payment is most folks’ largest payment except for their home mortgage, so it steals more money from their income than virtually anything else. USA Today notes that the average monthly car payment is $464 over 64 months. Most people get a car payment and keep it through their lives. As soon as a car is paid off, they get another payment because they “need” a new car. If you keep a $464 car payment throughout your life—which is “normal”—you miss the opportunity to save that money. If you invested $464 per month from age 25 to age 65, a normal working lifetime, in the average mutual fund averaging 12 percent (the 70-year stock market average), you would have $5,458,854.45 at age 65. Hope you like the car!

If you put $464 per month in a cookie jar for just 10 months, you have more than $4,000 to pay cash for a car. I am not suggesting you drive a $4,000 car your whole life, but that is how you start without debt. Then you can save the same amount again and trade up to an $8,000 car 10 months later and up to a $12,000 car 10 months after that. In just 30 months, or two and half years, you can drive a paid-for $12,000 car, never having made a payment, and never have to make payments again.

College Debt

Student loans are a cancer. Once you have them, you can’t get rid of them. They’re like an unwelcome relative who comes to stay for a “few days” and is still in the guest room 10 years later. We have spread the myth that you can’t be a student without a loan. Not true! USA Today says that in 1992, 42 percent of students took loans, while in 2006, 65.6 percent of students took loans. Student loans have become normal, and normal is broke.

When people call my radio and TV shows to scream, “WE’RE DEBT FREE!” a car or a student loan is almost always the last they paid off. Except for a mortgage, these are the two largest debts most people have. If you have a student loan to pay off, it’s time to get crazy, get intense and attack that debt.

Mortgages

First, let me tell you that mortgage debt is the only kind of debt I don’t yell about. I don’t borrow money—ever. But if you have to get a mortgage, just be smart about it. First, make sure you are ready to buy a home.

You should be debt-free and have three to six months of expenses saved for emergencies. Why? Because if you don’t, the roof will leak or the air conditioner will need replacing as soon as you move in. It’s a lot better to rent for a while longer than to be in a house you can’t afford to take care of.

Never take out more than a 15-year fixed-rate loan, and never have a payment of more than 25 percent of your take-home pay. That’s the most you should ever borrow. If you borrow more, you won’t have the money to do anything else.

Hopefully these tips have shown that it actually is possible to live debt-free—regardless what our culture might say. How much could you give every month, save every month and spend every month if you had no payments? Your income is your greatest wealth-building tool, not debt. There is no such thing as good debt.

New Country

You have an idea of what the new country looks like. Still, you are very much at home, although not truly at peace, in the old country. You know the ways of the old country, its joys and pains, its happy and sad moments. You have spent most of your days there. Even though you know that you have not found there what your heart most desires, you remain quite attached to it. It has become part of your very bones.

Now you have come to realize that you must leave it and enter the new country, where your Beloved dwells. You know that what helped and guided you in the old country no longer works, but what else do you have to go by? You are being asked to trust that you will find what you need in the new country. That requires death of what has become so precious to you: influence, success, yes, even affection and praise.

Trust is so hard, since you have nothing to fall back on . Still, trust is what is essential. The new country is where you are called to go, and the only way to go there is naked and vulnerable.

It seems that you keep crossing and recrossing the border.For a while, you experience a real joy in the new country. But then you feel afraid and start longing again for all you left behind, so you go back to the old country. To your dismay, you discover that the old country has lost its charm. Risk a few more steps into the new country, trusting that each time you enter it, you will feel more comfortable and be able to stay longer.

–Henri Nouwen

Top 3 Obstacles of Discipleship and How to Tackle Them

by Jason Hayes on December 17, 2009

Discipleship is one of those things that everyone wants but many struggle to pursue or even understand. And, yes, healthy discipleship is difficult as it takes intentionality, time, and effort. However, we often make it much more difficult than it really has to be. In fact, many analyze it to such an extent that they have trouble getting started. We don’t want to fall into this trap and we’d imagine that you don’t either. Thus, in an effort to help, we’ve recently surveyed some of the nation’s leading collegiate and young adult ministry leaders about their opinions on this topic. We’re seeing patterns and trends develop that we’ll use in articles like this and in future work.

As we consider discipleship, some natural questions arise. What is it really? Why is it important? And how do we define success?

Among those surveyed, 100 percent indicate that discipleship is first connected to one’s personal relationship with Christ. With this said, however, they also recognize this personal relationship should impact our interactions with this world and others. Successful discipleship reproduces itself in others. Disciplines like Bible study, prayer, service, worship, and evangelism are central to the process, but they’re not the process alone. Discipleship also includes sharing the Gospel, teaching Scripture, living missionally, and investing in others. Allen Jackson from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary states that discipleship is “the transmission of information, values, and skills from one generation to the next for the purpose of growing in Christ-likeness.”

If this is true (which we think it is), then maybe we really have a chance at attaining it. As we look through Scripture, we see what these leaders have described—followers of Christ making other followers of Christ. In her new study Sacred Roads: Exploring the Historic Paths of Discipleship, Threads author and discipleship thought-leader Heather Zempel writes, “Jesus didn’t throw out the rules, but He did re-imagine, re-invent, and re-engineer them. He developed new methods and metaphors for what a growing relationship with God looked like and He implemented new pathways for discipleship. Experiences. Compassion. Personal discipline. Battle of the minds. Relationship. These were the sacred roads Jesus used to draw people into deepening intimacy with God.” And all of these roads are part of the bigger picture of discipleship in our lives.

While the call to discipleship is clear, that doesn’t necessarily make it easy. In our surveys, leaders were asked to describe their greatest obstacle to successful discipleship. The responses were varied, but these three obstacles appeared as most prevalent. I’ll do my best to provide some practical help as you’re likely experiencing some of these challenges in your own ministry.

1. Lack of Time

Discipleship feels counter-intuitive to everything else in our culture. We live in a quick-moving world that endorses fast-food mentalities and instant gratification. Unfortunately, discipleship doesn’t happen that way. Instead, it takes time and prolonged commitment from both the discipler and the disciple. Evaluate your schedule to see if it lines up with priorities like discipleship. If it’s as important as you may say it is, does your calendar reflect that? Get rid of stuff that doesn’t need to be there in order to make room for the things that do. Also, don’t think of discipleship as something that demands you add hours into your schedule. Instead, consider how you can disciple within your day-to-day life. It feels more natural, it’s more effective, and it’s more representative of what Jesus modeled.

2. Lack of Trust

People want deep, meaningful relationships. But, that’s not always easy to find, is it? Whether we recognize it or not, many people are becoming more and more reserved in who they will trust and open up with. There is an innate distrust that seems to permeate our society, and it’s sadly quite justifiable. This generation has seen leaders within politics, sports, religion, and their own families make some pretty bad choices. Often these choices are closely tied to deceit and dishonesty. The only way we overcome this as we seek to disciple others is by modeling lives of authenticity, integrity, and transparency. That isn’t gained quickly or from distanced contact. Rather, we need to be shepherds who lead from within the flock as opposed to always out in front of it.

3. Lack of Connection

How do you connect with those you’re called to disciple? In many situations, it comes naturally and the relationship develops organically. But, in some instances, this simply isn’t the case. We certainly can’t just avoid those relationships that require effort. Rather than giving up, think differently about the process. Consider the individual and what approach may be best for them. Evaluate what topics might create dialogue, activities that would foster belonging, and other elements that would establish ownership. Think about them and their needs as opposed to you and your agenda.

Personally, my wife and I are continually striving to impact those the Lord has given us opportunity to have relationship with. We struggle with many of the same challenges, but we do our best to push forward. Discipleship is not a neat, prescriptive process that goes exactly as planned. Instead, it requires flexibility and adaptation as life’s circumstances arise. This is not about a program, but rather much more about our deep investment into the lives of those around us as we make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything He has commanded us.

Making Discipleship a Way of Life, Not a Program

I want to do this…does anyone else want to join with me???

by Jim Johnston on November 19, 2009

Craig Mintz experienced first-hand what an intensive discipleship experience can do in a person’s life while at the University of North Carolina. So, he took what he learned on the college campus and put it into practice at First Baptist Church, Sevierville, Tennessee.

“What’s missing so many times is the relational part of Christianity,” said Mintz, the pastor of discipleship and singles at the church. “Growing in your faith alongside a friend who is doing the same thing really makes a difference.”

That’s the genesis of Disciple3, a movement—not a program—that Mintz has seen more than 270 people walk through in the past three years. Its genius is in its simplicity.

A Disciple3 participant asks two people of the same gender to meet together for an hour each week for six months. The group commits to reading through one chapter of the Bible each day. The first five months cover Luke through Romans and Proverbs. The sixth month is spent in a book of the Bible of the trio’s choosing. Everyone in the group is encouraged to write down what they learn through the readings.

Each time they meet, the group discusses a short list of questions, prays for each other, and hangs out together.

The questions are basic:

1. What is one thing you learned from reading God’s Word this week that can make a real difference in your life?
2. How has your life this week demonstrated that Christ lives in you?
3. Is there any temptation or sin you’ve battled this week that you’d like us to pray about?
4. Is there a lost person in your sphere of influence we can pray for this week? How can you be salt and light to that person?

“I didn’t want it to be sin management,” said Mintz, who was an International Mission Board missionary in Western Europe and a newspaper reporter before coming to FBC Sevierville. “We just wanted to give people a way to grow in their faith with some of the basics that Jesus taught.”

After the group completes six months or so together, each of the three is asked to start a new group where they walk through a similar plan. The discipleship plan starts anew every six months.

The biggest obstacle to making Disciple3 work is time. “It’s just hard for people to carve out an hour every week,” Mintz said. “You put it off for a week, then it becomes two, and then a group falls apart. You have to work hard to set a time everyone can live with up front and make sure you stick to it.”

The most enthusiastic group to get involved with Disciple3 has been 20-somethings. It satisfies a need that’s not easily met for them in larger discipleship groups and Sunday morning Bible study fellowships. “So many of them have never had this kind of relationship with another believer,” Mintz said. “I never had this until I went to college. I didn’t know what it meant to be discipled. I think they’re finding it’s a great experience to draw near to other Christians, and they want to share it with others.”

Classes and Bible studies aren’t enough. Community by itself isn’t either. It’s the pairing of community, depth, connection, and responsibility that helps young adults move from new followers of Christ into vibrant growing disciples who can reach out to others and make a difference in the world through the power of Jesus.

Christmas feelings

I love Christmas. I love the religious aspect: celebrating the start of our Lord’s time on earth, His tremendous humility in knowingly becoming a drooling little baby in a difficult, hard, cold world and His amazing goodness and love in even doing this. I love the idea of adding some cheer to this otherwise dreary season, what with the cold, the snow, the trees barren, the plants dormant or dead. I love the idea of a feast in what historically would be more of a time of famine – the generosity in the face of scarcity. I love the family time – even if we don’t see them as much as we like the rest of the year, we get some time with our family. I love the tasty foods (too much, often). I love the warmth and hospitality in the face of the coldest times of the year.

However, I am less than enthusiastic about some of the other aspects: the commercialism, the crazy economic situation that has come about because of the commercialism, the political correctness of the “holiday season” and the Christian backlash to said political correctness. The materialism and greed that is taught to children. The gluttony that a feast in a continually-feasting society. The whole weather aspect makes me a little worried – all the visitors around this time in the worst traveling weather of the year. All that crap could fall out the window of the top floor as far as I’m concerned.

But I am determined to not even think about the parts of it I don’t care for. I’ll try to not add to those things, and avoid them if that’s all I can do. But otherwise, I’m going to just think Happy Christmas thoughts.

Gazelle Intense

I don’t know what you think about Dave Ramsey or if you’ve even heard of the guy, but I think he has some great practical advice on how to manage your money (to the Glory of God) and have financial peace in the midst of it. The biggest thing he advocates is the “Baby Steps”. If you don’t know what “Baby Steps” are see the list below. I would HIGHLY recommend following these steps!!!

Dave Ramsey advocates staying “gazelle intense” while tackling each step…especially Baby Step 2: Getting Out of Debt. What is “gazelle intense”, you ask? During the Financial Peace University class, he showed a movie clip of a gazelle outrunning a cheetah.

He likened “debt” to the cheetah, and he said that to stay out of debt you have to live “gazelle intense”. The cheetah is the fastest land animal, so “gazelle intensity” means to stay out of debt you have to run from it like a gazelle runs from a cheetah.

Simple enough.

And, here is the reason for this blog post. While being “gazelle intense”, I’ve often wondered if I should stop putting money into extra savings, giving/tithe and investments to allow more cash to go into each Baby Step, and thus, finish with the Baby Steps quicker. I recently heard Dave Ramsey on his radio show and he talked about this subject…

He recommends that you continue tithing 10% to the church that you are currently attending while putting all para-church* donations on hold. Also, stop all additional savings and investments so you can use that money to attack the current Baby Step that you’re working on. He also said the Bible does not mention anything about “pausing” tithing. Neither does it say that we will go to Hell if we do not tithe. The tithe, which is a scriptural mandate, was not instituted for God’s benefit because He already has all the money He needs. He does not need our money.

So why does He ask us to give 10% to Him? Tithing was created for our benefit. It is to teach us how to keep God first in our lives and how to be unselfish people. Unselfish people make better husbands, wives, friends, relatives, employees, and employers. God is trying to teach us how to prosper over time. Many people have observed that after they stopped tithing, their finances seemed to get worse. In the Book of Malachi, God promises that if you do not rob Him of your tithing, He will rebuke your devourers and protect you.

If you cannot live off 90% of your income, then you cannot live off 100%. It does not require a miracle for you to get through the month. I think that if you sit down and look at your budget, you will see that you can make it while giving at least 10%. Read the Bible and take from it what you will, and if you tithe, do it out of love for God, not guilt. I do not beat people up for not tithing because Jesus certainly did not, but let me encourage you to keep tithing.
* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parachurch_organization

BABY STEPS

1. No More Debt

   While not an official step, you need to swear off debt if you’re going to be able to succeed in this program. The most important part of getting and staying out of debt are having self control.Its a commitment you make to live debt free. Once you’re able to make this commitment you can move on to the next step.

2. A $1000 Emergency Fund

   Why do we find ourselves in debt? Because we’ve needed money at different times and we didn’t have it. So what did we do? We went out and put it on a credit card or took out a loan. That’s why having an emergency fund is so important. Its going to protect you in those situations when the car breaks down, the water heater goes out, the kids get sick, and so on.

3. Pay Off All Debt Using the Debt Snowball

   You need to create a budget and stick to it. Any extra money you have left over at the end of each month needs to be put towards your smallest debt. Once that debt get paid off you repeat the process with the next debt. Until all your non-mortgage debts are paid off and then you can take that Hawaiian vacation you’ve always dreamed of.

4. Save 3 to 6 Months of EXPENSES

   Unless you live in Mozambique or somewhere like that, you probably realize that a $1000 emergency fund will not go very far. What if you get laid off or what if the roof needs to be repaired? There are many situations that will come up in your life were $1000 will not keep you afloat. Its during those times that you will be tempted to go back into debt. That’s why saving 3 to 6 months of your income is so important.

5. Invest 15% of Household Income into a Retirement Fund

   15% seems like a lot of money doesn’t it? But you have to remember that at this point you have paid off all of your non-mortgage debts and you already have 3 to 6 months income saved in the bank. So, in other words, you’re living large at this point. Now’s the time to really start concentrating on your future. Ramsey recommends investing 15% or more in Roth IRA’s and pre-tax retirement.

6. College Fund for Children

   My parents did not pay for my college tuition, because like most parents they couldn’t afford to. I took out student loans from the government which I’m still paying for today. My parents were nice enough to support me financially in other ways, like paying for my food and rent. Thank you mom and dad. But whether or not you pay for your children to go to college is really up to you. If you do plan on doing this the time to start saving is after you’ve accomplished all of the above steps. Don’t sacrifice your retirement to pay for college.

7. Pay Off That Mortgage Early

   A mortgage payment for most people cost 35-40% of their monthly income. Can you imagine the freedom it would give you to pay that off early? Imagine the flexibility you would have in your life. Has your wife always wanted to stay home with the kids, now she can. Have you ever wanted to trade in your job that you hate for the opportunity to follow your dreams, but you were scared because it didn’t pay as well? Guess what? Now you can.

8. Build Wealth and Give It Away

   Now that you have all those debts paid off, you have the kids college paid for, you have your retirement funded, now you can start to build some serious wealth. Take some of your money and start investing it. It can be in real estate, in mutual funds, in index funds, whatever you prefer.

   Dave Ramsey advocates tithing 10% throughout all the baby steps and I agree with him on this. Personally I want to give back some of what God’s blessed me with, so He can bless others. Now whether you feel that way or not is totally up to you. But I believe we can all agree, that if we’re able to help those less fortunate than us, we should.

It’s the Final Countdown – Advent

By Ryan Hamm

Monday, November 30, 2009

Why Advent is more than wreaths and stale chocolate-laden calendars.

“Advent” is kind of a strange term. It seems vaguely religious, but it’s also a word often used in reference to video game sequels. If you grew up in the West, you’ve certainly seen an advent calendar—if only to experience the terrible, stale chocolate hidden within. Normally, when we think of Advent, we usually think of it as a countdown to Christmas—a sort of chocolate-y version of those paper chains you’d make when you were little to count down to the day you got presents.

You also might be familiar with an advent wreath, particularly if you’re Anglican or Roman Catholic (or grew up in either of those Christian traditions). You know there are four candles (and maybe one in the middle) and that it has something to do with the birth of Christ. You know there’s a significance to the four weeks leading up to His nativity, but maybe haven’t thought much about it.

And yes, Advent is all of this. It’s a “countdown” to Christmas. It’s a commemoration of the birth of our Savior. But it is also so, so much more than that.

When we talk about the “advent” of something, we’re usually referring to its beginning or coming into being. So, for instance, the “advent” of writing a term paper might be the initial research you put into it. Or the “advent” of a football game would be the kickoff (plus, I’d pay money to hear Al Michaels use the term “advent” in the middle of a game).

That definition is a good place to start. For Advent, is, indeed, a beginning. It’s the beginning of the Christian story, the birth of Christ. The season of Advent anticipates this birth for four weeks leading up to Christmas, through a variety of readings, prayers and other observances (depending on the tradition).

But perhaps an even greater reality lies just beneath the surface. In many churches the first Sunday of Advent marks the beginning of the liturgical calendar—the church calendar that divides the year into celebrations of the many qualities of God. The church calendar reminds us we are in a story greater than ourselves; it pulls us out of the daily minutiae of life and trying to make it to the next day (or, in most cases, the weekend) and lets us know that we are, in fact, living in God’s reality, not our own.

Advent also has its roots in the Greek word parousia, a term used in the Bible to refer to the Second Coming of Christ. This is one of the other ways the idea of Advent is deeper than might be expected. In many traditions, Advent serves a dual purpose—to commemorate the birth of Christ, but also to anticipate the Second Coming of Jesus. Each Sunday in Advent centers around this tension. The Savior of the world, Jesus Christ, will be born into humble circumstances … and we simultaneously look forward to His final return to usher in His Kingdom.

I don’t use “will be” by accident—one of the most powerful aspects of centering ourselves in the reality of the Christian calendar is to be able to experience the Christian story as it happens. So we can look for the birth of Jesus, the Messiah, with the anticipation of first-century Jews. And we can look to the Second Coming of Christ with the anticipation of a people who catch glimpses of God’s Kingdom but for whom the reality of the full Kingdom, when everything will be put right, seems tragically distant.

All that anticipation is another reminder of what Advent brings: it reminds us of waiting on God. When Christ was born in the most humble of surroundings, He came to a culture centered around the idea of waiting for a Messiah—even those who weren’t explicitly waiting had just forgotten how (especially those in political or religious authority who found the absence of a Messiah profitable). He came to a place so eager to find a deliverer that they believed they’d found one every few years.

And now, we wait again—we wait for the return of Christ. Whatever you believe Christ’s return will look like, the fact remains that He will, indeed, return one day. He’s the firstborn among the resurrected, and we wait for His return as we wait for the resurrection of the dead. We wait to be reunited with those who have joined Jesus in His eternal kingdom already. And we wait for the injustice and oppression we see around us and the groaning of all creation to finally be answered. Waiting on God is a Christian activity, and Advent reminds us of what we wait for.

Nowhere else is the entire breadth of the Christian narrative summed up in a four-week period. We have birth, the beginning. And we have the Second Coming, the end. Well, at least as much as an eternity with God can be “the end.”

The first Sunday of Advent was yesterday and continues through Christmas. This season, consider observing the many sides of Advent. You don’t have to get a wreath or even a chocolate-filled calendar if you don’t want to. But in the weeks leading up to Christmas, remember a Savior who was born. Remember that this season is the beginning of a new Christian year—a timeline that encourages the exploration of the person of God. Realize you live in God’s timing and that waiting on Him is an act of trusting worship. And remember Advent points to the One who is to come. In the midst of the busyness of the season with family, presents, Santa, Charlie Brown, Bing Crosby, ornaments and that creepy manger scene your grandparents have kept since 1951, remember this season shows you God’s love. He sent His Son once to die for all—and He’s sending Him again to bring His Kingdom to Earth.

Xmas and Christmas: A Lost Chapter from Herodotus by C.S. Lewis

This is an essay written by C. S. Lewis (The Chronicles of Narnia) entitled “Xmas and Christmas: A Lost Chapter from Herodotus.” It was included in his book God in the Dock. Make reading this more enjoyable by making a cup of hot tea and nesting for a few minutes. I promise, it’s worth it!

~Dana

And beyond this there lies in the ocean, turned towards the west and north, the island of Niatirb which Hecataeus indeed declares to be the same size and shape as Sicily, but it is larger, though in calling it triangular a man would not miss the mark. It is densely inhabited by men who wear clothes not very different from the other barbarians who occupy the north western parts of Europe though they do not agree with them in language. These islanders, surpassing all the men of whom we know in patience and endurance, use the following customs.

In the middle of winter when fogs and rains most abound they have a great festival which they call Exmas and for fifty days they prepare for it in the fashion I shall describe. First of all, every citizen is obliged to send to each of his friends and relations a square piece of hard paper stamped with a picture, which in their speech is called an Exmas-card. But the pictures represent birds sitting on branches, or trees with a dark green prickly leaf, or else men in such garments as the Niatirbians believe that their ancestors wore two hundred years ago riding in coaches such as their ancestors used, or houses with snow on their roofs. And the Niatirbians are unwilling to say what these pictures have to do with the festival; guarding (as I suppose) some sacred mystery. And because all men must send these cards the marketplace is filled with the crowd of those buying them, so that there is great labour and weariness.

But having bought as many as they suppose to be sufficient, they return to their houses and find there the like cards which others have sent to them. And when they find cards from any to whom they also have sent cards, they throw them away and give thanks to the gods that this labour at least is over for another year. But when they find cards from any to whom they have not sent, then they beat their breasts and wail and utter curses against the sender; and, having sufficiently lamented their misfortune, they put on their boots again and go out into the fog and rain and buy a card for him also. And let this account suffice about Exmas-cards.

They also send gifts to one another, suffering the same things about the gifts as about the cards, or even worse. For every citizen has to guess the value of the gift which every friend will send to him so that he may send one of equal value, whether he can afford it or not. And they buy as gifts for one another such things as no man ever bought for himself. For the sellers, understanding the custom, put forth all kinds of trumpery, and whatever, being useless and ridiculous, they have been unable to sell throughout the year they now sell as an Exmas gift. And though the Niatirbians profess themselves to lack sufficient necessary things, such as metal, leather, wood and paper, yet an incredible quantity of these things is wasted every year, being made into the gifts.

But during these fifty days the oldest, poorest, and most miserable of the citizens put on false beards and red robes and walk about the market-place; being disguised (in my opinion) as Cronos. And the sellers of gifts no less than the purchaser’s become pale and weary, because of the crowds and the fog, so that any man who came into a Niatirbian city at this season would think some great public calamity had fallen on Niatirb. This fifty days of preparation is called in their barbarian speech the Exmas Rush.

But when the day of the festival comes, then most of the citizens, being exhausted with the Rush, lie in bed till noon. But in the evening they eat five times as much supper as on other days and, crowning themselves with crowns of paper, they become intoxicated. And on the day after Exmas they are very grave, being internally disordered by the supper and the drinking and reckoning how much they have spent on gifts and on the wine. For wine is so dear among the Niatirbians that a man must swallow the worth of a talent before he is well intoxicated.

Such, then, are their customs about the Exmas. But the few among the Niatirbians have also a festival, separate and to themselves, called Crissmas, which is on the same day as Exmas. And those who keep Crissmas, doing the opposite to the majority of the Niatirbians, rise early on that day with shining faces and go before sunrise to certain temples where they partake of a sacred feast. And in most of the temples they set out images of a fair woman with a new-born Child on her knees and certain animals and shepherds adoring the Child. (The reason of these images is given in a certain sacred story which I know but do not repeat.)

But I myself conversed with a priest in one of these temples and asked him why they kept Crissmas on the same day as Exmas; for it appeared to me inconvenient. But the priest replied, “It is not lawful, O stranger, for us to change the date of Chrissmas, but would that Zeus would put it into the minds of the Niatirbians to keep Exmas at some other time or not to keep it at all. For Exmas and the Rush distract the minds even of the few from sacred things. And we indeed are glad that men should make merry at Crissmas; but in Exmas there is no merriment left.” And when I asked him why they endured the Rush, he replied, “It is, O Stranger, a racket”; using (as I suppose) the words of some oracle and speaking unintelligibly to me (for a racket is an instrument which the barbarians use in a game called tennis).

But what Hecataeus says, that Exmas and Crissmas are the same, is not credible. For first, the pictures which are stamped on the Exmas-cards have nothing to do with the sacred story which the priests tell about Crissmas. And secondly, the most part of the Niatirbians, not believing the religion of the few, nevertheless send the gifts and cards and participate in the Rush and drink, wearing paper caps. But it is not likely that men, even being barbarians, should suffer so many and great things in honour of a god they do not believe in. And now, enough about Niatirb.

Dirty Deal

Our poor daughter has been dealing with her first diaper rash this week. I (Dana) read about this issue online and tried to find some tips on how to help heal it quicker. One website recommended that I air dry her bum for 15 minutes and then apply some sort of paste to the affected area…before putting on a dry diaper.

I thought “hey, that sounds easy…and fun.” (You know naked babies are cute…)

So, this evening before bed, I took off Naomi’s clothes and stripped her down to her birthday suit and let her run around in her bedroom (the warmest room in our house). After 5 minutes of unprotected play time, Aaron and I agreed that if she peed on the floor it would be the same as if a puppy had an accident…and it really wouldn’t be that big of a deal.

Sure enough…as soon as we ended that conversation, Naomi peed on the floor. And, like we thought, it was much like a puppy piddling on the carpet. No worries…we can clean that one up in no time…just like we thought.

Before Aaron stood up to get carpet cleaner and rag, we started talking about poop. “Well, I suppose if she pooped on the floor it really wouldn’t be that bad either, right…” I inquired. Aaron assumed that it would just squirt out the back since she was sitting on the floor at that particular moment…so we would obviously see it if it happened.

I’m am not joking. That girl pooped right on the floor as soon as I asked my question. And let me clarify…IT IS WORSE THAN I IMAGINED!!!

Aaron’s hypothesis was wrong. When she pooped, it went forward and spread all over her legs. The best part is…we didn’t see the poop until she started to crawl away. I have to say, I was not the most composed person in the room at that point. I didn’t know if I should laugh hysterically or cry my eyes out. We ended up hosing her down in the shower and then we enjoyed a mommy-daughter bath to calm our nerves and start winding down for bed…

I’m convinced that that little girl must have understood what we were talking about. She did BOTH #1 and #2 on command…I should probably start potty training with that kind of accuracy!!! After this little incident, I doubt we will ever have play time in the buff…well…at least until she’s potty trained, I suppose.

Address Book

I have a love/hate relationship with my address book. I always look forward to this time of year when I can update it (I know…I’m weird). However, once I actually get into updating it, I go through a period of depression. I wrote the below blog post 2 years ago…the feelings are still the same. Sometimes I wonder why I take the time to even update my address book. The only thing I can think of is perhaps it’s an addiction….

 

November 18, 2007 – By Dana Kangas

People died. Do I remove them?

People divorced. Do I separate them?

People born. Do I add them?

People moved. Do I update them?

People married. Do I unite them?

People changed their phone number. Do they want to hear from me?

It was an eventful year for the people in my address book. I have mixed feelings about all these changes. Too bad my address book can’t capture all the feelings that go along with all the different emotions.

Joy.

Sorrow.

Excitement.

Regret.

Pain.

Bliss.

Instead, I just see pencil marks that can’t be erased completely and penned text that have been covered with white out. New additions here and there. Scratch outs. Changes.

I am not sure if I like change.

But at least my address book is updated.

Lessons To Teach Your Children

40 Lessons We Sought to Teach Our ChildrenDennis and Barbara Rainey

I will never forget that incredible moment when our daughter Ashley was born. The doctor cleaned her up and handed her to us. I (Dennis) wanted to blurt out, “Thanks for the gift, but where are the instructions?” When we started out, we had a few ideas of what it meant to be a parent and raise children. Two years later we added a son and we realized that we had better become intentional about what we wanted to do as parents and teach our children.

As a result we began a list of 25 things we wanted to teach our children. Then it became 40, 50, and even more. (For your sake we’ve shortened the list back to the top 40.) Some of these lessons began during the first year for each of our six children, while others were emphasized later during childhood or adolescence. Today our children are adults and our role in their lives has changed. We have moved from being teachers to being cheerleaders and advisors, when asked.

Raising children requires huge chunks of time, prayer, discipline, involvement, and relationship-building. This list of values and traits has helped us focus on biblical priorities in raising children to become mature adults of faith and godly character.

1. Above all, fear God.
2. Respecting authority—trust and obey your parents.
3. The importance of friendships.
4. Be in love with Christ and focus on your relationship with Him, not just on doctrine or on biblical principles.
5. Have compassion for the poor and orphans.
6. Believe God for too much rather than too little.
7. Real strength is found in serving, not in being served.
8. The power of moral purity and a clean conscience.
9. How to motivate people without manipulating them.
10. How to handle failure.
11. Keeping your promises.
12. The power of the tongue for good or evil.
13. Giving too much rather than too little.
14. The importance of manners and common courtesies.
15. Viewing life through God’s agenda—the Great Commission and the Great Commandment.
16. Give thanks to God in all things.
17. The importance of prayer.
18. The art of asking good questions, carrying on good conversation.
19. How to grow as a Christian.
20. How to handle temptation.
21. By faith, trusting Christ as your Savior and Lord, and sharing with others how to become a Christian.
22. Seeking wisdom—skill in everyday living. Knowing how to make good decisions.
23. Gaining a sense of God’s direction and destiny for your life.
24. Staying teachable and not becoming cynical.
25. Obtaining godly counsel.
26. The importance of flexibility and adaptability to cope in life.
27. Truth is best passed on through relationships.
28. Leaving a legacy of holiness.
29. Keeping life manageable. Prioritizing decisions.
30. Taming selfishness—learning you can’t always get your way.
31. Choices are yours to make and results are yours to experience.
32. Respecting the dignity of another person and of all people.
33. Being faithful in the little things.
34. Character is the basis of all leadership.
35. Life isn’t fair—don’t compare with or be jealous of others.
36. Living by commitments, not by feelings.
37. Expressing grace and forgiveness.
38. A strong work ethic.
39. Surrendering to the authority of Christ.
40. How to handle your finances.

We should mention that, after number one, the items on this list are not presented in any order or priority. We realize the list may appear long and daunting. But we suspect that if you began a list of your own, you’d quickly find that it’s just as lengthy.

That’s because parenting is a long and challenging task. Fortunately we have a God who gives us the strength to accomplish the tasks He lays before us (Philippians 4:13). We encourage you to lean on Him. No we didn’t perfectly teach each and every one of these 40 things, but it was a guide to remind us of what was important. But we never stopped training, teaching and cheering them on. As Galatians 6:9 tells us, “And let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we shall reap if we do not grow weary.”

Giving Your Kids Financial Peace

www.daveramsey.com

If kids are going to live a life of financial freedom, it’s up to parents to instill in them the values that will result in wise money habits.

The three most basic things Dave teaches people to do with money are spend, save and give. That goes for kids, too. Once they are old enough to do chores around the house for one or two dollars, they are old enough to learn to spend, save and give.

First, children should be taught to give. Whether to a church or a charitable organization, children need to learn that giving is just as important as saving and buying stuff. Teaching children to be generous will allow them to get so much more out of life.

Practically, this means parents should have their children set aside 10% of their earnings each month to put toward a church tithe or a charitable gift. If they make $20 a month for doing chores, they should put $2 a month in the offering plate or give it to a local charity. If they are old enough to understand, parents may even have their child decide on the charity or church program to which they want to give.

Secondly, children need to save. Saving is extremely important because it frees kids from the pull of impulse buying. When they go through the process of saving for a special toy, they learn the importance of work and the value of a dollar. Saving is a wonderful habit to establish early on because it teaches kids to be prepared for the future. Carrying that discipline with them into their 20s and 30s, when starting to save for retirement and major purchases, is crucial to their financial freedom.

To make saving as fun as possible, get a piggy bank or some sort of clear container so your children can see their money grow. When they are old enough, open a savings account for them. They’ll be excited and feel all grown up going to the bank with you.

Finally, kids need to learn to spend responsibly. As a child learns that money is used for giving and saving, they need to balance that out by having some fun with it. Plus, allowing them to make reasonable decisions on how they spend their money gives kids and parents teachable moments. You’ll have to let them make mistakes, but that’s where you’ll find the teachable lessons. It’s better for them to learn a $1 or $2 lesson than a $10,000 or $20,000 lesson.

After you’ve paid your children for their chores, remind them that they can spend some of their money on something for themselves. Take them to a toy store or the ice cream shop and let them pick out whatever they want. This will teach them that work equals pay – and that pay equals fun!

Guiding your children in the choices they make with money is essential. Dave’s principles for spending, saving and giving are the most basic and effective way to teach kids, as well as adults, about responsible financial choices. And you don’t have to worry about overloading them. Kids want structure, and it will be simple for them to grasp it as long as you keep their age and personality in mind.

If you need more fun ways to teach your kids about money, check out Dave’s children’s books.